A Kitten’s Revenge, or Helpful Household Hints from Lord Buttercup: Tip #2

November 11, 2009 lordbuttercup
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In Tip #1, I sounded the clarion call to reveal the cement beneath your apartment’s carpet.

Tip #2 has a more cat-centric focus, and I beg you to forgive this breach of etiquette, but I am going to talk about the litterbox.

I know what you’re thinking: it’s crass, it’s unseemly, it’s something the mental patient likes to pretend does not exist.

Well, let me tell you, I personally would love to indulge her in this particular psychosis–a happy mental patient is a treats-dispensing mental patient–but in order for her to realistically pursue the “Litterbox?  What litterbox?” lifestyle, she would have to spend a little more time attending to its upkeep.  Apparently she has no sense of smell.  The rest of us are not so fortunate.  What’s a cat to do?

How can I convey the notion that that box is not going to scoop itself?  Remember, though I blog, I cannot yet talk.  That’s where Tip #2 comes in. 

Tip #2

Let the following be your wordless communique vis a vis the upkeep of your sal de bain:  Seek out an item of some value.  In my case, I chose a crystal letter tray, from which bills and missives cascaded onto the neighboring counter –which came as no surprise  given the state of my litterbox.

Placing my dainty paw into the crystal letter tray, I removed a few items to be spared from my cascade and relieved myself. 

Hint: I purposely chose things addressed to Current Resident so that the prank would make its point.  If her cell phone bill or her mileage reimbursement check had been spared, would she have been as quick to right the wrongs she had committed against me?

Entry Filed under: The life of a cat

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