Observing the Mental Patient in her Natural Habitat, Part 1
November 11, 2009
lordbuttercup
Tags: oversleeping, procrastinating, rockstar, snooze alarm, writing
I’m confused.
The mental patient just got off the phone by claiming she had to get back to writing.
Let’s have a scavenger hunt! See below. Can you find any writing?
Before the phone rang, here’s what she did:
9:00 a.m.-11:30 a.m: Hit snooze alarm
11:30 a.m: Cracked open the Rockstar Roasted she’d put on the nightstand before passing out in a pile of cheddar-rice-cake crumbs last night. (The intent here was to streamline her traditional 3-hour-long snooze alarm serenade by means of immediate caffeine infusion. Alas, it took the poor mental patient two and half hours to reach the two inches past the snooze bar to get to the energy drink. Needless to say, we are very popular with our neighbors thanks to the free symphony of beeping the mental patient provides on a daily basis.)
11:30 a.m.-12:00 p.m. She shuffled aimlessly, then remembered her fondness for nicotine so indulged in a cigarette, after which she stared out into space, jaw slightly slack.
12:00 p.m.-12:10 p.m. Put on a pot of coffee.
12:10-12:15 Made a list of things she won’t do today.
12:15-1:15 Checked email, refreshed email, opened and closed Microsoft Word, took out “lucky” notebook and scrawled a few ideas but only after laborious deliberations over which writing implement to use. Refreshed email. Refreshed email. Refreshed email.
1:15 The phone rings.
1:15-2:15 More wandering, now with phone in ear. She changes out of her pajama pants, and let me tell you, nothing says, “ready to take on the world” more than the track pants she’s been wearing every day for a week.
2:15 Into phone, she says, “Well, I hate to say it, but I gotta get back to writing.”
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